I always say a big pet peeve of mine is when we don't open up to one another about our struggles. I'm just going to be frank-- I used to struggle a lot with pornography, and in fact I'm struggling with it right now. It's this intense spiritual battle right now..it's like I can hear the voices of both satan and Jesus loud and clear. Satan says "Come on Shayna, you know you'll enjoy it"..so inviting. Yet Jesus is saying "My Beloved, I died so you would no longer have to be a slave to this anymore. You are free". So simple, so true, so powerful. Thank you, Lord for Your promise:
"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. " -Romans 6:6-7
So, since I can't go to bed yet due to waiting for my laundry to get done, I've decided to play some worship music and blog about what all I am thankful for, since after all, today is Thanksgiving :)
1. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" -John 3:16. This is the thing I'm most thankful for, because if it weren't for God's love for me (for humanity!) I wouldn't be where I am today. If it weren't for the blood of Jesus, I wouldn't be set free from lust, alcohol, and other things. Thanks to Him, I'm able to spend each day glorifying Him and telling the world about Him, all while looking forward to eternal life someday :)
2. I'm thankful for the family God has blessed me with. They mean so much to me. I'm so blessed to have been brought up in a close, loving household. Sure, my parents are divorced, but my entire family has so much love for one another it's amazing. My mom sacrifices anything and everything for my brother and I. My brother is my best friend and always has been <3
3. I'm thankful for my job as an Administrative Assistant at Brothers Glassblock for the past three and a half years. I know for a fact that this job was sent to me straight from God. I didn't even have to apply for the job. While working two other jobs in the summer of 2007, I was offered this job one day when I walked in to drop off lunch to my boyfriend at the time. I've been there ever since :) My bosses, Joel & Patrick, have been the older brothers I've never had, and my spiritual mentors especially when I first became curious about Christ. Besides, in what other job would we just blast praise/worship music almost everyday? :)
4. I'm thankful for my friends. All of them, even the nonChristian ones. All have played crucial roles in my life and I wouldn't trade them for anything!
5. I'm thankful for the Gathering. It was through this college-aged ministry that I've grown the most in my walk with Christ since the summer of 2010. Prior to the Gathering, I've never believed in healing. But now through witnessing and personal experience, I'm a firm believer that our God can heal anyone and everyone!! Plus, a weekly dose of God and fellowship on Thursday nights never hurts :)
I wish I could continue this blog on what all I'm thankful for. I could go on for hours. But, it is 2:00am and I have to be up at 8:00am to go pick up my dear friend Mengting.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. <3
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I Shall Love Him
"If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me
Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die" ~ Misty Edwards "Arms Wide Open".
That song has really pierced my heart. I've been feeling really discouraged about love and relationships lately. As most people know, I'm not big on commitment. I've been in 3 different relationships within the past year alone. I love the IDEA of commitment. The idea of "soul mates", of being in love with 1 person for the rest of your life. I'm such a romantic at heart. However, I'm the queen of getting into relationships, and the queen of getting out of them. When the excitement of a relationship wears off, and the going begins to get rough, I bail out and find a new relationship so I can feel that excitement again. Do I ever ask the opinion of my main man Jesus about this? Of course not. I just go. I bail. I go to seek happiness elsewhere.
AH..but that's the problem. My happiness cannot be found in another human being..only within JESUS!!! Though I KNOW this, I still fail to apply it to my life. Jesus even tells us, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matt.6:33).
So the lyrics I posted at the beginning, greatly apply to myself. The piercing I felt is called conviction. I've been looking for love in the all the wrong places. If I really want to see and experience love, I just need to look at the cross. I know once I completely get "right" with Jesus, I'll be able to commit myself to the Christ-like man that God has for me.
Commitment to Jesus is first. Commitment to others will follow.
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me
Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die" ~ Misty Edwards "Arms Wide Open".
That song has really pierced my heart. I've been feeling really discouraged about love and relationships lately. As most people know, I'm not big on commitment. I've been in 3 different relationships within the past year alone. I love the IDEA of commitment. The idea of "soul mates", of being in love with 1 person for the rest of your life. I'm such a romantic at heart. However, I'm the queen of getting into relationships, and the queen of getting out of them. When the excitement of a relationship wears off, and the going begins to get rough, I bail out and find a new relationship so I can feel that excitement again. Do I ever ask the opinion of my main man Jesus about this? Of course not. I just go. I bail. I go to seek happiness elsewhere.
AH..but that's the problem. My happiness cannot be found in another human being..only within JESUS!!! Though I KNOW this, I still fail to apply it to my life. Jesus even tells us, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matt.6:33).
So the lyrics I posted at the beginning, greatly apply to myself. The piercing I felt is called conviction. I've been looking for love in the all the wrong places. If I really want to see and experience love, I just need to look at the cross. I know once I completely get "right" with Jesus, I'll be able to commit myself to the Christ-like man that God has for me.
Commitment to Jesus is first. Commitment to others will follow.
Testimony
God first grabbed hold to my heart in April of 2008. I quickly began learning more about Him and seeking Him out. However, throughout these past two years, I never really lived for Him. I still participated in all the worldly things of the secular culture such as drinking and sex. Then, this summer, Jesus came to me in a dream. I remember it quite vividly:
I was running down a hill toward a giant smoldering hot volcano. Everybody around me was doing the same. The road was paved, and the sky was gray. We were running faster than ever. Then, I noticed myself running toward a man. This man was wearing a white robe and he was WALKING against the running crowd. As I came nearer to him, he stopped me. He stared into my eyes and gave one simple command "Follow me" he said, as he pointed in the direction from which I just came.
That's all it was. Such a quick and simple dream, yet it changed my life. Jesus gave me one command: to follow Him. I was running hard downhill toward hell in my life...and He was giving me the instruction on how I can turn it all around. So I did. Since then, not only have I been seeking out God and His Word more, but I've actually been LIVING for Him. Giving Him the glory, giving Him the control and trust He deserves. I've given up the sinful wordly things I had been keeping from him before, such as sex. Since giving up everything to Him..I've noticed how much closer our relationship is, and how many more blessings I am receiving thanks to Him!!
I was running down a hill toward a giant smoldering hot volcano. Everybody around me was doing the same. The road was paved, and the sky was gray. We were running faster than ever. Then, I noticed myself running toward a man. This man was wearing a white robe and he was WALKING against the running crowd. As I came nearer to him, he stopped me. He stared into my eyes and gave one simple command "Follow me" he said, as he pointed in the direction from which I just came.
That's all it was. Such a quick and simple dream, yet it changed my life. Jesus gave me one command: to follow Him. I was running hard downhill toward hell in my life...and He was giving me the instruction on how I can turn it all around. So I did. Since then, not only have I been seeking out God and His Word more, but I've actually been LIVING for Him. Giving Him the glory, giving Him the control and trust He deserves. I've given up the sinful wordly things I had been keeping from him before, such as sex. Since giving up everything to Him..I've noticed how much closer our relationship is, and how many more blessings I am receiving thanks to Him!!
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